Fifty Shades of What?

Today will forever be the day that the Fifty Shades of Grey movie trailer was released.

I'm not going to lie, it's pretty freaking hot.  Everyone should give it a little look see.

Now I'm all for this movie happening.  I was not a huge fan of the book, minus the obvious love for the sex scenes, because the writing was just not that great.  When I read a book, I want something that is not complete nonsense.  Well, to me, this book is.  The only reason I will be seeing the movie is to see the hot scenes, actors, and mostly because my friends are dragging me there.

There's more to this blog than me drooling over the parts of the book I did enjoy, but to enlighten some of you.

The part of this story that I hate the most is the lead woman.  Anastasia Steele.

First, let's think of SATC.  One of the reasons I adore SATC is because it is frank and honest about sex.  It does not sugar coat sex or make sex something to be ashamed of.  The four women of the show are open about sex and don't try and make it something it's not.  They understand that love and sex do not always go hand and hand, even though that is the ideal option.

Anastasia Steele is the opposite of the SATC women.  She's naïve and does not know what is out in the world.  The fact that the main man, Christian Grey (swoon), could ever possibly be into BDSM is beyond Ana's understanding.  The thing is, is that Christian's tendencies are much more normal than Ana realizes.

What is not normal is Ana.  The book introduces Ana as someone who is awkward and innocent.  When she meets Christian Grey, she is obviously breath taken, who wouldn't be, right?  But it seems that she is the typical stereotype that has been seen in other movies.  Cosmopolitan even compared Fifty Shades to Twilight, which is not surprising seeing as how the main characters are essentially the same.

This is completely opposite to what the women are like in SATC.  Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda are all interesting, successful, and independent women, who know who they are and are proud of it.  They are not women who just creep along life, but rather stomp through it.

One of the most infuriating parts of Fifty Shades is Ana's first sexual experience.  She starts out as a virgin when the book starts and her first time with Christian Grey, which is her first time ever, is nothing less than mind-blowing, as far as the book shows.

This is some serious crap in my opinion, and the opinion of many women.

There is no way that any woman's first sexual experience could ever be as good as Anastasia Steele.  This is even mentioned during SATC.  A woman's first time is usually awkward, painful, and downright embarrassing.  The exact opposite of Ana's first time.

Carrie even says in the show that she lost her virginity to a guy in high school in a locker room, or something that.  Gross.

I just get frustrated with Fifty Shades because it does not show sex in a realistic way.  It shows that sex is great always.  SATC makes sure to show that that is not the case at all.  With the right partner and with love, yes sex can be everything you imagined, as portrayed by the women of SATC.  But with someone you just met and are even a little afraid of, as Ana is, sex is definitely not all what it is made out to be in this book.

More importantly, Carrie and the other women of SATC, show what real relationships are.  Sure, not all of them are healthy and successful, but the ones that are take effort and time to grow and become something beautiful.  Ana Steele almost seems to be given Christian Grey on a silver platter only because of his twisted fetish.

Of course, out of pure curiosity, I will be seeing Fifty Shades, but it will never be what Sex and the City is to me- something I live and learn and breathe.

Dating: Then and Now

Today we live in an age where there is nothing we cannot get within a click on our phone, tablet, or computer.

Even now, technology is even playing a role in how we meet potential boyfriends.  Dating websites have changed the way people meet others.

Of course there's the usual match.com and eHarmony websites, but obviously those are not meant for people in college.  There really isn't anything for college students to meet other students on the internet.  Or is there?

What most college students by now are thinking about is Tinder.  Tinder is an app that is similar to the very beginning of Facebook.  It's essentially a Hot or Not app that shows the people around you and you can swipe right or left depending on who you like and who you don't.  If you like someone who likes you back, you have a match.  Tinder also pulls information from your Facebook page and shows if you have interests similar to people on the app.

I've read some articles on what people think about this app, and it is clearly not something that you use to find a serious relationship.  It's essentially something college students can use to find someone to hook up with.  Well, I was definitely not up for that.

Some of my friends had met up with guys from Tinder, and I had only talked to a few guys from it.  I certainly wasn't comfortable with meeting up with anyone from this app.

This summer I came across this one guy who seemed really nice and was obviously cute.  We had talked for a while before he asked me out.  I was terrified.  I wanted to go out with him, sure, but it was Tinder...

I decided to keep an open mind and meet up with him.  I did, and it was the opposite of what I was expecting.  I expected to be totally weirded out and scared.  I wasn't.  I was relaxed and was really glad I was dating again.  It had been forever since I had been on a date.  He even asked me out on another date.

I thought I had broken the Tinder stereotype.

Well, I knew deep down that I hadn't.  The next day he told me he didn't want a relationship at all and wanted to be friends.  Yeah, okay, we've all heard that before.

I was upset, naturally.  I felt something for him.  But then I think, was this just me creating feelings because I was so lonely?  I still don't know.

Plus, after really thinking about it, I knew there were red flags all over the place.  I mean, who invites a girl back to his house to "watch a movie" after the first date?

The Tinder dynamic is interesting, why are we so willing to go and meet people on this meaningless app that really is only meant for hookups?

It's simple, really.  Tinder is easy.  There is no way to get hurt.  You don't have to put yourself out there.  It's easier than seeing someone out and asking for their number and have the possibility of getting rejected.

Unfortunately, this is the way our society is heading.  I don't agree with it.  Technology is so good for so many things, but a way to meet people is not one of them.

This all ties in to one of my favorite parts about Sex and the City.  People in that time, which honestly was not that long ago, took the chance and possible rejection to meet someone.  Of course men were afraid, everyone is afraid of rejection.  But, if they weren't going to take the chance, then how would they ever meet anyone?  What would have happened if Mr. Big had never taken the chance and met Carrie and finally asked her out?  We wouldn't have a show people.

Sometimes I think my life would be better without social media or the internet.  I couldn't tell you how much I hate my phone sometimes.  I wish I could throw it out the window at some points during the day.

However, if a man who I had met and completely loved, sent me the Love Letters of Great Men to me in an email, I wouldn't be too upset.

Computers come in handy for expressing yourself to your loved ones.  And that's just it, it is something to use for communication with those you know and love.  Not as a tool for meeting people you would never otherwise meet.  I just hope that I can find someone in real life and not through a computer screen.